How to Order When You’re Paleo

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Yesterday I had brunch downtown at San Marzano (delish!!). The place is known for pasta, so you’d think it would be completely black-listed for a Paleo chick, but there’s almost always something on the menu wherever you go that’s orderable as-is —ย or something you can ask the server to tweak for you.

Here’s how I do it:ย 

  1. I don’t even look at the pasta options. Call me crazy, but I’m not into self-torture.
  2. I head straight for the egg/poultry/seafood/beef entrees.
  3. Whichever entree is paired with a green veggie is automatically top of my list.
  4. If there’s rice or some other grain with it, I’ll ask for a salad or extra green veggies instead.
  5. I typically don’t make a big deal about the way it’s prepared since I’m going for the baked/broiled stuff anyway.
  6. I’ll ask for extra protein especially if I’m getting a salad. I want something that’s going to fill my ass up not a bowl of leaves, you know!?
  7. If I get a burger I’ll either order it bunless or take the bun off when I get it. If it comes with fries (what burger doesn’t) I’ll either ask for green veggies/salad instead or just eat the damn fries and know I might feel a little foggy later.
  8. For appetizers, I’ll consider anything that’s not breaded or in a deep, hot dish of melted cheese. Shrimp cocktail is always a solid option.
  9. I don’t freak out. This is a big one. If you’re not making it yourself, it’s probably not going to be 100% perfect or 100% clean. Pick your battles.

As for drinks:

  1. Black coffee, water or unsweetened iced tea if I’m staying sober.
  2. Red wine (with dinner) or bloody Mary (with brunch) if I’m not staying sober.
  3. I’m not a huge fan of vodka (I drank way too much in my 20’s), but a vodka club is a nice, light option; white wine and clear rum aren’t too bad unless you get sloshed. (Don’t get sloshed.)

As I think of more ordering tips I’ll update this post!